I love buying things, even since a young age. Back in middle school, I loved visiting the stationery stores or toy stores, looking through beautiful stuff, and buying them for myself.
Then I started buying things for classmates' birthdays, or my crush(s) or organizing mock lucky-draw contest with friends where I got to buy tons of snacks, little toys and stationery. Patterned notebooks and pencils made me happy; candybars for my crush(s) pleased me when their eyes lit up; dresses for my Barbie Dolls were deemed essential. I was curious about everything, and I wanted everything, from toy guns to toy cooking sets, toy jewelry, mini aeroplanes on tarmac, soft toys etc.
As I grew older, I started buying books - Disney princesses, fairytales, Enid Blyton, Sweet Valley, Nancy Drew etc, I just had to have every book in the entire series.
I just wanted to have everything. Oh well, not just for myself. Being a generous person with keen observation and analytical skills, I often knew what gifts to buy for friends and family to make them happy on their birthdays, for Christmas and when they were sad.
That is so sweet of me, no?
But yes, I did notice that I loved spending money. During Christmas I even had to take small loans from my brother (who was a far better saver than I was) to buy gifts and pretty Christmas cards because I overspent on my own allowance.
The Buying Obsession Continues
By the time I reached high school, I often overspent my allowance and needed to draw extra funds from my bank account to buy what I needed.
Yes, I studied in an all-girls' school, and we had uniforms, so what was there to buy?
Bags. Those tiny black backpacks with long straps that everyone was carrying? Then the large sling bags that looked so stylish slung over even our dorky uniforms?
Clothes for the weekend. At the point in time, I was already a clothes fanatic. I had to collect clothes, mind you. I needed tank tops in every conceivable style (halter neck, racerback, camisole etc) and color and material. I wanted striped sweaters and suede tops and leather jackets and pleat skirts. I wanted denim dresses and satin miniskirts. I loved clothes so much, I was constantly poring over fashion magazines and checking out malls for the latest trends.
Some of these clothes, I only wore them once or twice, but I just had to keep buying because suddenly, I would see a new style coming out - bell bottomed pants, half-sleeved tops, cat-sleeves blouses etc. I had to have them all.
I also collected CDs (compact discs) because I loved music. I loved many genre of music, and would buy an entire album just to collect one single song. I bought from HMV, from Music Junction, from Tower Records, from Sembawang Music. Back then, CD stores were everywhere, and I would buy one or two a week.
It was also the age where we discovered using makeup. So I bought lip glosses in every shade conceivable (from nude to red to dark brown) and eyeshadow palettes and powder.
I loved owning beautiful things, and would rather sacrifice lunches so I could use the money to buy clothes or CDs or cosmetics.
Shopaholic Emerges
No, I never thought it was a problem or an issue. I did realize that I overspent easily, and bought more than my friends did, but I needed to buy things. It was almost like I could not stop myself.
In high school, the trend continued. I ditched all the colorful clothes for black tops - all kinds of uniquely-designed black tops - studs, logos, long-sleeved, zip-front, etc.
I still kept up with the CD-collection, the cosmetics collection and books collection. Yes, I bought all kinds of books -novels, thrillers, poetry etc to read and to keep, so that I could keep great reading material for re-reading anytime.
To add on, I collected accessories now too - bangles, bracelets, earrings, belts. Every one of my outfit came with different accessories.
At least in high school I held a part-time job so I had more money to spend on my endless purchases.
The habit never stopped even after I stepped into the working world.
I ditched the gothic clothes for dresses. I now own close to 200 dresses, mostly in dark hues, but I have dresses in most styles - A-line, pleats, lace and silk, button-down, Korean-inspired, checkered, etc. I had to have a different dress in each unique style.
Sometimes I tried to abstain from buying. I would finger a nice dress in a boutique, try it on, think about it, and decided firmly not to buy. Then, at home, I would obsess over it for days, and finally I would pop down to the boutique and make the dress mine. Some of the dresses are never worn more than thrice. I'd even forgotten about some dresses chucked in the back of the wardrobe or hung behind another dress on the same hanger.
But the buying impulse is there. Usually when I buy clothes, I buy two at a time. Yes, for every brand or boutique, I seldom step in to just buy one. I usually end up with two dresses of vastly different designs, but I feel are "must-have".
Imagine colleagues complimenting the beauty of this design. Imagine men staring at how this fabric hugs my figure. Imagine what so-and-so would say to note that I also own dresses from BCBG, Karen Miller and Bebe! This dress brings my assets or coloring very well. This dress is on sale!
I am feeling depressed, I need a little retail therapy. I closed a deal today I am so happy I deserve another new dress!
Besides dresses, I still continue my CD and books collections, though they have toned down. I buy more branded accessories and jewelry now too. And I also collect antique trinkets such as candle-holers or glass-carved figurines that have absolutely no use!
Confessions of a Shopaholic
Yes, when the book by Sophie Kinsella came out, I read it with a shock. Firstly, I had thought the book was written about me. Yes, me, Rebecca Bloomwood sounds so much like me!
Secondly, I noted with relief that I am not the only one with such a problem for sure (well, at least I don't max out my credit cards just to buy things), that being a shopaholic or shopping addict is an issue many women have.
I have met people I know who love shopping as much as I do, too, some even more so.
Today, I have cut down by a fair bit, and learned to contain my buying impulse better. But still, there are the weak moments, or the moments at home whereby I yearn to hit the malls - to smell the malls, to see the malls, to feel the malls and to buy something.
Retail therapy is a good way of temporary perking me up, I reckon, and also a good way of bonding with girlfriends when we mall crawl. To become a full-fledged shopaholic, though, I now learn to say no. Ending up with an entire wardrobe of useless stuff (some of the dresses, I wonder why I'd even bought to begin with) is a headache - to keep them is a waste of space since I no longer need them; to discard them feels like a waste since they're in good condition.
Yes, I do hold garage sales or sell them off on Ebay too, to reduce the wastage.
But these days, I have learned to be more selective on what I buy, and whether I really need it, really look good in it etc before I take out the card for the cashiers to swipe.
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