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Monday, 4 January 2016

The Nuptial Series (xiii) - Guest List and Inviting the Guests

It is time to sort out the guest list - the who to invite and who not to invite list - as well as start informing them of the wedding.

Call me "kiasu" (i.e. anxious), for I started informing some relations and close friends around 5 months in advance... for the very simple reason because they mean a lot to me, I would really like them to be around, but I am afraid that they would book holiday trips unknowingly. People travel so often these days, there is no need to risk the chance that they might have made travel plans thinking that a certain period was "clear".

Also, it allows for overseas friends and relatives to prepare for their flights and accommodation back in Singapore for the wedding, including scheduling for leave.

Photosource: http://thebudgetsavvybride.com/finalizing-your-guest-list/

The Guest Lists
I would not go into very detailed about this, but all I can say is - invite those who matter to you, invite those who invited you before and are still in touch now, and to quote a dear friend, "invite who you would like to see during your wedding".

At the same time, who to exclude? People who we have lost touch with for a long time, people whom we can safely exclude without offending (you never know, some people remember things like this for years!) and exclude those who might potentially spoil your Big Day.

I had a list made briefly before we contacted the hotels, so now is time to sit down and go through them properly, taking some names away and adding more in.

Relatives, friends, colleagues, some business associates and acquaintances who may become potential friends in the long run. There are people whom I know would not attend, but would ask out of courtesy so as not to offend (so they can tell mutual friends that "I did not want to go" instead "I wasn't invited").

Being invited or not is NOT the key here, after all we are not royalty or celebrities. But sometimes we may not realize that people don't like to feel excluded, especially if you often meet up as a group, and then some get The Red Letter Bombs, and some don't.

Similarly, some people might hope not to be "bombed" with another wedding invitation, so that they won't feel obligated to attend and sit through a dinner that costs $$$.   I can appreciate frankness here, and I have an idea of who they are, so they shall get their wish and NOT be bombed. After all, I only want to invite people who will truly be happy for us, to join in this celebration sincerely.

The Invitation
Okay, I did mention above that I started informing around 5 months in advance - verbally for local relations / friends, and SMS / Facebook for overseas ones.

Now that it is drawing closer to the Big Day, I would think that around 3- 3.5 months is a good time to drop a formal invite so as to prepare for mailing of invitation cards.  I feel that 2 months and below is too insincere - it might give people the wrong impression that we are looking for extra guests to fill the seats of cancelled guests, or are asking out of politeness.

No Facebook invites for me.  Personally I hate them, and would not respond to such; so I would not accord my guests-to-be the same treatment. I believe a personal touch - through text or calls - is more sincere.

If I wish to invite long-time friends whom I have not met for a while - truly because I treasure them for the memories and friendship - I will make arrangements to meet up to catch up, and ask if they would love to be part of the celebration. If they do, then I will extend the formal invitation.  I will never do as some of them do - haven't met in years, then suddenly they send you an invite out of the blue. One of those mass-SMSes, which makes you wonder if you should bother to reply.

Photosource: T Dragon Cards

The Printing
Just spoken to the printers and sorted out the design, style, format and font we want. Design-wise, I was debating the lace one, the Tiffany's one, the plane ticket one and the paper-cut groom-and-bride one. Ultimately, we settled on one, and chose the envelopes to go along with it.

I was grateful for their patience and guidance on how to put in the parents' names and salutations correctly, for I was clueless on this.

Anyway, printing will take 2-3 weeks after we approve their softcopy draft. We cannot wait to send them out soon!

For the rest of the Nuptial Series:
Part (i)  - The Proposal
Part (ii) - Solemnisation procedure
Part (iii) - Solemnisation venues
Part (iv) - Finding the right photography studios
Part (v) -  Hunting for the suits and gowns
Part (vi) - Bespoke (tailored gown) - Review on Kelly's Bridal
Part (vii) - Pre-wedding photoshoot in Vancouver, Canada
Part (viii) - Pre-wedding photoshoot in Singapore - Loov Production
Part (xii) - Decorating the Wedding Banquet Ballrooms

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