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Thursday 3 December 2015

The Nuptial Series (ix) - Frustrations and Decisions

I have been writing about the preparation process to keep you brides-to-be and grooms-to-be updated on the wedding procedures and possibilities you could have - from the proposal to the ROM process to selection of photography and bridal studios etc.

It is all about the physical process of researching, engaging and going through the various different stages. What I have never written about - or read blog posts entries about - are the mental and emotional roller-coaster rides that I have been going through, amidst the fun and joy of planning for the Big Day.

You probably heard a lot about couples fighting over all the details when it comes to making decisions, selecting stuffs, and all. Whether someone prefers silk drapes or velvet drapes for the banquet ballrooms, could lead to arguments. Whether someone prefers outdoor photography or indoor photography, could spark off another round of heated debate too, especially amongst the tension and thoughts of this huge step we are taking in life. More severe cases include cold feet and the pulling outs.

My problem is different. I believe in the earlier series, I mentioned that I would prefer to handle the entire planning process by myself, instead of engaging the help of a wedding planner. What I did not count on was that I would be handling it almost all on my own.

Don't get me wrong - I had it easy because he loves me and fully trusts the decisions I made. For this, I did not have to handle the issue of us fighting over small details, since I did the research and selection, presented the findings to him and we made payment. I also had to constantly remind him to check with his family members if they were okay with the wedding wedding tasting dates, to remember to set the date so that both families could so together to negotiate dowry, etc. All these, I did amongst my sales management career, sidelines and blogging as well, juggling it to the best of my ability.

I guess I have been bottling it all inside, and the entire time I had not realised the pressure I was under, until I went down to one of the wedding fairs (alone, of course) today, and all the other attendees came in pairs. All of a sudden, it made me feel so lonely and angry, like he was too busy to help with it, or I was the one pressing for marriage (which, if you know me well, I am not), or I was the Bridezilla who probably just wanted to take charge of everything!

I guess I would rather have someone to fight over the nitty-gritty planning details with, than to have to handle all these by myself. I guess if I have foreseen this happening, I would have engaged a wedding planner to handle everything to begin with. Friends said I should ask for help and they would help out, but I don't know how to ask for help, what to ask for help with, and when to do so....

Oh well, I will survive, I guess. Mercifully, I paced myself rather well with one item to settle every month so that I would not be overwhelmed. I am sure that If he wasn't so busy, he would have loved to be involved in the planning process too. The actual day's gown rentals have just been settled, and the ballroom theme too. Right now it is just settling the photo montage, food tasting and hunting for the ring. It should be maneageable; we have about 4 months (out of which includes Christmas and Lunar New Year as well) to take care of the rest of the stuff.

In the upcoming part of the Nuptial Series, I will talk about choosing the Wedding Ballroom Venues.

For the rest of the Nuptial Series:
Part (i)  - The Proposal
Part (ii) - Solemnisation procedure
Part (iii) - Solemnisation venues
Part (iv) - Finding the right photography studios
Part (v) -  Hunting for the suits and gowns
Part (vi) - Bespoke (tailored gown) - Review on Kelly's Bridal
Part (vii) - Pre-wedding photoshoot in Vancouver, Canada
Part (viii) - Pre-wedding photoshoot in Singapore - Loov Production

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