The Mommyhood Series [vii] - My Confinement Diary

You have read my entry on Birth by Caesarean in the previous chapter of The Mommyhood Series.

Finally, baby and I were discharged from the hospital and could go back home. The Caesarean wound was still hurting, but nothing beats recuperating at home.

I guess confinement has begun. The confinement nanny from PEM Agency was waiting by the condo's waiting area by the time we were home. I didn't know what to expect- except that she was supposed to take care of Baby, wash her clothes, cook for me and hubby, prepare my herbal bath water, and help with simple household chores twice a week.

She was friendly and efficient, making us feel at ease. And like me, she was a cleanliness freak so ensured that things were neat and clean. One of her duties included cooking Longan Red Dates drink for me to consume like water on a daily basis; she also added Black Dates, Wolfberries and Bei Qi (Astragalus or may also be known as 'Huang Qi') to make it more nourishing. She explained that the latter especially, aids in healing wounds.

Her cooking was pretty good too - balanced meals consisting of fish, or pork, and lots of vegetables. Ginger and wolfberries were 2 ingredients that were never missing from the dishes.

For dishes containing alcohol or requiring stronger ingredients, such as Ginger Wine Chicken or Black Vinegar Pig Trotter (both of which are confinement favorites), they should only be consumed from 12th days onwards. Don't ask me why - I take it that its passed the period  needed for my wound to heal.

I also started consuming a small amount of Dom after dinner, for tonic purpose. Ideally it should be consumed before bed, but I had to feed around midnight so I tried to drink the Dom a few hours before then.

For herbal soup, I drank them during dinner time or before bed. I got mine from Eu Yan Sang as I'm a member. At $328, the package comprises tonic soup ingredients, Bai Fong Pills (tonic for after menses), and So Hup Pills (to drive the wind out from body). I know other Chinese medicine shops such as Hock Hua, etc all carry confinement packages as well; if not, the shop assistants can customise a package for you using ala carte items.

I also got my Bathing Herbs (about $30++ for a box of 14 herbs) from EYS during to convenience. Basically you just need to boil the packet of herbs and let it simmer, then pour into your tub to use for showers. It's supposed to keep the wind or cold away from the body.

If you've heard tales that women shouldn't take showers during confinement, it's probably outdated by now.  They didnt take showers in the past because long ago, bathrooms were situated outside the homes, and in chilly weather conditions - women could easily catch a cold if they had to shower out there. These days, bath herbs are readily available; or at the very worst, you can consider adult body wipes. If you refuse to wash your hair, there's powder you can get from TCM shops, or dry shampoo. Hygiene should be a priority especially if we are breast-feeding our infants.

We can't be exposed to much "wind" so that means long-sleeved tops and long pants/ leggings would be good. Air-conditioning is fine but not fan (though people in the past also used fans because they didnt have air-con?!)

She also ensured I wear bedroom slippers around the house instead of walking around barefooted, because theres "wind" or coolness from the floors.

We are supposed to lie down in bed a lot- this is said to help prevent backache and other associated ailments when we get older. Also we shouldn't be touching water much- for fear of being too "cooling", so my Confinement Nanny filled my tub with lukewarm water and rice wine for me to wash my hands with.

Breast-feeding

Baby alternated between my breast milk and formula milk, in order to get the sufficient amount she required. She was fed about 7 times a day, including 3 times in the middle of the night. Babies do get choosy about the tip of the milk bottle - for instance, mine would drink from the Pigeon bottle because its softer, but rejected the Philips Avent one.

When baby was not feeding and my milk supply was abundant, I used Hegen Pump (around $599 for the set that comes with  breast massage function) to get the milk out for storage. It is a nice electric pump that's also silent and painless. Pumping regularly helps prevent soiling the clothes and most importantly, prevent engorgement (which can be very painful).

Watching our diet is important too because if we are breastfeeding, what goes into our bodies goes to the baby when they feed. Oranges cause phlegm, alcohol intoxicates them, too much sugar is not good for them.... the list goes on.

Lactation herbal teas and cookies are available to aid milk supply produce, as well as papaya soup.

Physically, Mentally and Emotionally

Physically, well, we'll be menstruating for a full month so hormones may run a little wild. Support from family members is very important at this point in time. We get more sensitive and easily irritated. I got a little paranoid at certain phrases used by my Confinement Nanny, to be honest, and was wondering if she was trying to show me that Baby preferred her to me.

For me personally, I would appreciate advice only when I ask for them - not for everyone to start dishing advice about everything. Bottom line is- we appreciate that you all mean well- but all these advice only stresses and confuses us. When we  need assistance, we will ask, or we will research and join forums etc. Don't do the "hey, if you are ever feeling depressed call me anytime" speech over and over again- it gels. If I'm depressed I want my husband to bring me to a professional asap; trust me I wont be picking up the phone to call anyone to chit chat.

Some people get postnatal depression, especially if they feel insecure or stressed out. Most times they aren't aware of it themselves. Post natal depression comes in many forms - overly protective of baby, suicidal thoughts, self-blame (especially if milk supply is low or baby is ill), resentment towards baby (especially after a difficult birth), etc. Therefore parents and husbands - please keep a close watch and seek help for them if  need be.

By the third week, Hubby and I had to get hands-on taking care of Baby. We learned how to change diapers properly, feeding properly, bathing the Baby, and putting her to bed, etc.

The lying in part was most difficult for me as I could not bear having nothing to do. I couldn't be sleeping 18 hours a day. So I used the time for some light work and meditation. One month passes by really fast - keep a lookout for my next entry on Baby Gifts Purchase by TinyBabies.SG.

Backtracks

(i) The House-Hunting Series

(ii) The Honeymoon Series

(iii) The Nuptial Series

(iv) The Mommyhood Series (i) - Receiving The News

(v) The Mommyhood Series (ii) - My Pregnancy Journey

(vi) The Mommyhood Series (iii) - Post Natal Massage by Schone Mama @ Takashimaya
(vii) The Mommyhood Series (iv) - The Accidental Babymoon (Pregnancy Travel Guide)
(viii) The Mommyhood Series (v) - The Endless Shopping List

(ix) The Mommyhood Series (vi) - Birth by Caesarean

6 Tips for Real Estate Salesperson (RES) Exams Preparations

You are all geared up for the upcoming RES (Real Estate Salesperson) Exams, which takes place every 4 months now (February, June, October), and under the regulations of the Council For Estate Agencies (CEA). Presuming you don't know how or where to start studying for it, allow me to let some of these facts and tips sink in, and hopefully help you along your journey to passing of the RES Exams.

Step 1:  read all the guidelines and information about the exams

Yes, I mean all that you need to know, and understand about the examination format, syllabus, topics covered, passing rates, requirements etc. These information are more important than you would expect. A good source to start would be the CEA Website

Step 2: believe that it is one of the most difficult exams you have ever taken

This is coming from someone who holds certifications from many different regulatory bodies, as well as academic institutions. Yes, I love studying and obtaining certifications; learning never grows old. I failed at my very first attempt because I refused to believe in its difficulty level (I studied while playing movie clips in the background), believing that a combination of textbook knowledge and common sense would get me through). It is only when you are down at the exam halls, you'd realise the questions are formulated not in a straightforward manner, but they ask a lot of questions on scenarios, to ensure that you really understand a concept and are applying it. 

Step 3: attend RES Course under a recognised provider

Attending RES Course under a recognised training provider is mandatory, and each course attended is valid for 2 years. Meaning to say, you have 6 attempts at the exams before needing to re-take another RES Course. I heard merits about a few training providers and trainers - so do your research before signing up. I took mine under Hastor - where the trainers provide nearly round-the-clock support and assistance via Whatsapp group chats.  You can claim training fees via SkillsFuture credits or if you are an NTUC member, via UTap.

Here is a list of recognised training providers (info correct as at March 2019):

1. Benchmark Realpro

2. Hastor Property Services 

3. Institute of Estate Agents

4. Life Mastery Academy

5. Pioneer Training & Consultancy

6. Singapore Estate Agents Association

7. Real Centre Network

8. Real Estate School (under Real Estate Academy)

9. Realty International Associates (RIA) School

Photo Source:
https://www.cea.gov.sg/professionals/salesperson-registration-matters/real-estate-salesperson-examination-syllabus

Step 4: additional reading materials

Attending an RES course gives you the basic fundamentals of understand the real estate markets, rules and regulations etc in Singapore. On top of that, there is a lot of reading up on other legislations because anything can come out (trust me).  It also depends on the notes and training materials given by your course provider. Some notes are less informative or inclusive than others.

You can start with some information here at Mdm. Celeste Ng's website.

On top of these, other reading materials may include:-

1. HDB's For Senior "Monetizing Your Flat For Retirement"

2. BCA's Outdoor Advertising Requirements

3. BCA's Sign Licence Requirements

4. Basic knowledge obtained from the various authorities' websites such as HDB, CPF, MinLaw sites etc

Step 5: lots of practice 

As the anticipated questions are an enigma, lots and lots of practice is vital. Mock examination papers can be purchased online - whether you prefer to attempt online or use hardcopy mock exam questions. I learned a lot from practice papers because they also test on knowledge outside of my course notes, such as commercial subletting ratio, showroom guidelines, etc. 

On top of that, you can also join revision classes to strengthen and fortify your knowledge. There are paid revision classes by the course providers, as well as free revision courses conducted by property groups under PropNex, Huttons, ERA etc.  Attending revision courses is also a good way to meet and interact with students from other training courses - who may have questions or information to share with you that your course provider did not furnish.

Personally I wrote a lot of my own notes and drew mind-maps because writing them down myself, made me remember the information better (lots of memorisation is involved). 

Step 6: the  battle begins...

By now, you should be equipped with a lot of information on real estate in Singapore, the market and marketing strategies, rules and regulations, legislations etc. This includes remembering the various tax rates (buyer's stamp duties, additional buyer stamp duties, seller stamp duties, the various types of property tax, HDB housing financing schemes such as housing grant, additional grant & special housing grant, registration fees for RES and agencies, professional indemnity insurance required, etc).

Personally I did not buy or use a Financial Calculator at all during the examination because I found the formulae too complex for me. I skipped all the calculation questions but you shouldn't try to do that - in case a certain Paper 2 bases many questions on loan / mortgage calculations.

Have a good night's rest, remember your coffee shot or chicken essence in the morning for energy; bring along your NRIC and examination confirmation printout, 2B pencil, eraser, calculators and a sweater lest the exam hall is cold. 

All the best for your RES Exams!

Wine Tasting Session by The French Cellar

83 Genting Lane, #05-01, Singapore 349568

Tel: 6610 1295

Website: https://www.thefrenchcellar.sg

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheFrenchCellarSG

The French Cellar has been in Singapore for around 4 years, offering French wine delivery services and events to over 2,000 subscribers. Seasoned sommelier Nicolas Rebut travels around France scouting for good quality wines so that subscribers receive nice surprises every month at their doorstep.

So how does it work? From SGD$99.00 a month, subscribers can expect to receive 2 bottles of wine delivered in person to their door-step (Mondays to Saturdays). The French wines selection can be varied (sparkling, red, white, etc), or if you have a preference, do let them know as well.

I was delighted to be invited for a Wine Tasting session by Sarah and her colleague.  As they do not have a shop front, the tasting venues change frequently, and may be held at any area in Singapore. They also conduct Corporate Wine Tasting Sessions and Food Wine Pairing events.

We started with White Wine and Sparkling Wine to Red Wine, before Cheese pairing. Sarah and her colleague explained the differences  beween the wines, the regions they are from, as well as how to swirl or observe the clarity under lights. We were also educated on the various corkage types and temperatures for keeping different types of wine.

Sniffing notes and flavours also requires a technique, and plenty of training. There is a case containing small bottles of different-scented liquids which sommeliers in training would use to practice their notes detection. Temperatures for storage were also discussed, so overall, the tasting session was educational and fun for me.

Thank you The French Cellar for the lovely experience and wine tasting event.

Tea Break at Bettr Barista @ Khoo Teck Puat Hospital

90 Yishun Central, Level 2 Tower C, Khoo Teck Puat Hospital, Singapore 768828

Tel: 6383 5030

Website: http://www.bettrbarista.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Bettrbarista

I was at Khoo Teck Puat Hospital for an event. Feeling exhausted due to a late night event the night before, I was gratified to spot a sign for Bettr Barista Coffee Cart / Cafe and headed up to take a look.

To share a little about Bettr Barista Academy, they are a coffee education academy offering courses relating to professional barista, brewing, roasting, sensory amd green coffee. Nesides providing full and part-time WSQ-certified coffee courses for F&B professionals, Bettr Barista is also a social enterprise that trains disadvantaged youths and women to brew coffee. 

The main roastery and academy are located at 5 and 8 Harrison Road respectively, and they currently have retail coffee locations at DBS Plaza Singapura, Income Centre Bras Basah, Khoo Teck Puat Hospital, Ministry of Family & Social Development, and DBS Scape.

I tried a cup of Mocha (SGD$5.00) - takeout cups, simple latte art and rich chocolately aroma giving a lovely bittersweet flavour.

Peppermint Tea (SGD$2.50) for my colleague; they use Clipper Tea which was good.

Besides beverages they also serve pastries and sandwiches, simple food items to go along with coffees / teas - perfect for breakfast or tea break. Plus, the outlet at KTP Hospital is surrounded by greenery so it makes for a lovely ambience.

The Future is Female Conference by The New Savvy [Sponsored]

2 Shenton Way, Auditorium Level 2, SGX Centre 1, Singapore 068804

Website: http://thefutureisfemale.sg

Date: 8 April 2017 (Saturday)

Time: 8.30am to 7.00pm

Ticket Price: SGD$250.00 per pax

Recently I was honoured to be invited for The Future is Female Conference organized by The New Savvy - an educational and enriching female-empowering seminar that introduces us to the world of finance, demystifying investments for us. While the gist was centered around finances and money management, there were also insightful talks by successful women entrepreneurs who talked about their own experiences and issues faced, lending their expertise to other budding female entrepreneurs in the audience.

Goodie Bags with magazines and lots of vouchers were given to us, and some contests livened up the conference. Introduction by The New Savvy crew kick-started the long day ahead, and there were 2 tea breaks and a lunch session in between, that would penetrate the conference at scheduled intervals.

From 9.00am to 9.45am, the panelists talked about "Investing 101: Starting Your Investments" - and the panel consisted of Andy Lim (JL Family Office), Dr. Koh Noi Keng (Centre for Financial Literacy), Cedric Chehab (Asia Research) and Keir Veskivali (Smartly).

At 9.45am lasting till 10.30am, the panelists shared on "In the Driver's Seat: How to Drive Your Way Toward Success" - the panel comprised Tjin Lee (Mercury Marketing & Communications), Tamara Singh (GIC), Choo Ling Er (Singapore's Ironman Female) and Kee Siew Poh (Finexis Advisory).

After a short break, the panel moved on to talk about "Investing in Equities", by panellists Nels Friets (Tryb Capital), Bernard Lim (Columbua Threadneedle Investments, Jason Low (DBS Bank), Lynn Gaspar (SGX) and Gillian Kwek (Fidelity International).

From 11.30am to 12.15pm, we heard about "How to Keep Your Personal Brand Authentic in the Digital World", and the panel was made up of Rachel Lim (Love Bonito), Khoo Yin (FleishmanHillard), Pauline Ng (Porcelain the Face Spa) and Carol Chen (Covetella).

The next 45 minutes brought us through "What You Need to Know as a First-time Investor" by Puah Soon Lim, trainer at SGX Academy.

This was followed by lunch break, and then "How We Did It: Investment Success Stories", made up of panelists Huang Shao-Ning (JobsCentral), Ted Fang (Tera Sotheby's International Realty), Shannon Kalayanamitr (Orami) as well as Yap Kwong Weng (Leap).

Moving on, the topic discussed was "Real Estate and Reits: Diversifying Long-term Investments Portfolios", panelled by David Kuo (The Mortley Fool), Roy Ling (SGX Academy), Vivien Lim (Philip Capital Investment) and Veiverne Yuen (tryb Capital).

"How Women Thrive in Investing" was the next segment, and we heard from Junie Foo (Bank of Tokyo-Mitsubishi), Varun Mittal (Ernst & Young), Mouna Aouri (Woomentum), and Ketki Sen (Spinta Global Accelerator).

A short 15 minute break followed, after which we watched panellists Violet Lim (Lunch Actually), Jenny Tay (Direct Funeral Services), Benjamin Loh (public speaker at TEDx) and Lionel Yeo (Cheerfulegg) share their views on "A Look at How Millennials View Investing, Marriage and Housing".

Then it was a topic on "Why Insurance is a Good Investment for Yourself", fronted by Vivianna Low (NTUC Income), Bryan Low (Citi Nie), Timothy Ho (Dollars & Sense) and Philipp Kristian.

Finally, "Supercharging Your Career: How to Achieve Big Things Quickly and Efficiently"- panelled by David Sanderson (Nugit), Tan Yee Ning (United Security Solutions), Kexin Lim (PwC Singapore) and Markus Gnirck (tryb Capital).

I missed the networking and wine session at 7.00pm, but believe that would have been great fun and very meaningful - thankfully I had already made friends with some other attendees during the tea breaks and lunch intermissions. If I had attended with any shard of skepticism and curiosity, I stepped out more knowledgeable, confident, and clear about where I could start looking around for investments.

Thank you The New Savvy for the awesome enrichment, and AsiaOne for the experience.

[Books and Beers 2016] / ArchiFest 2016

[BOOKS & BEERS] taking place this afternoon at Raffles Place, in conjunction with Archi(tect) Fest.

Venue: Raffles Place main square

Price: Complimentary

Date: 24 September 2016

Time: 3.00pm to 6.00pm

Bring 10 books here to swap, bring home 10 books (if you like), and enjoy a lovely beer in this tormentous weather.

Admire the beautiful swatches of colors at Archi Fest, learn about the top celebrated architects and their projects, while taking a swing in the hammocks.

Nothing like art and beer to set the weekend right...

Preparation Panic - no, not Exams Panic!

It's that time of year again, when your kids are sitting for their annual major exams. For obvious reasons, parents always tend to worry more about exams than the exam-takers themselves. It doesn't matter whether you, as a parent, have been scheduling tuition lessons for your children way before the exams, or leaving your careers to guide them through their studies, or you are one of the play-it-cool types who claim you "don't want to stress the kids out" - deep in your hearts you are all hoping for a miracle that your children excel in their exams and pass with flying colours.

It is about a month away from the year-end examinations. It may be just an exam to bridge the students into the next grade, or the exam in which they are aiming to get into their dream high schools / colleges. Either way, I am sure that preparations are under way and parents are every bit as involved as their children in the preparations during this crucial period.

You are not alone. While all parents are gearing up for the exam battlefield out there, here are some (hopefully) helpful and practical pre-exam tips for you:

1. Stop Other Activities
The kids' extra-curricular activities should've stopped by now, as well as all outside-of-school sports lessons, music lessons, drama classes etc. This is vital so that the kids understand the importance of the year-end exams, and should focus all their time and energy on revision for the same without spreading themselves thin.


2. Conducive Environment
If you want your kids to be able to concentrate on their studies and not worry about anything else - please provide a conducive environment at home for them to study. A quiet study room would be ideal, but if not, at least a quiet corner where they are not distracted by the family's conversations or sounds from the TV.

If there are constant disputes around the house, this is an essential time to lend your support by minimalizing quarrels or fights at home - so that the kids can concentrate on their studies without worry.

3. Practice makes Perfect
Studying means lots of practice, including doing assessment books, poring over relevant books from outside-of-school sources, as well as attempting mock exam papers. Revising on a constant basis improves their familarity with the topics and makes it part of their memory consequently.


4. Work Closely with their Teachers and Tutors
No, this doesn't mean to pressurize or antagonize them. Work closely with them to schedule more remedial / revision lessons for your children, especially with tutors who have to schedule their slots in advance. While you may call or email them on questions, please do not be demanding on response time or overdo it - they are here to offer help, but making them feel pressurized won't help your kids score too well if they become too reliant on being spoon-fed.

5. Study Smart
Unless your kids have photographic memory, poring over the same textbooks again and again is not going to be too effective. Have them try various methods such as mind-mapping, summarizing study materials into note sheets by writing them down themselves, highlighting huge chunks of texts in different swatches of colors, Mnemonics, or playing braincells-stimulating music softly in the background.

6. Make Revision Enjoyable
Yes, make revision enjoyable and even memorable. A method could be rewards system - a major reward after the exams if they do well, as well as small, periodical treats. A method that worked very well for me was to cram intensely for 2 chapters of the textbooks, followed by a 15 minutes reward - this could come in the form of a chocolate bar, half a chapter of their favorite novel, or a quick walk around the estate. This would make studying more exciting because they have something to look forward to, and are recharged at good intervals.

Other methods could be to organize chaperoned study groups or quizzes with prizes. Keep the group size small, about 3 to 5 of their classmates. They could either discuss their assessment questions together, or you could throw quizzes with little prizes. This would help the kids take note of certain questions and inject a little social pressure if their friends know the answers to questions they don't, hence pushing them to study harder.

7. Healthy Lifestyle
Ensure that the kids eat and sleep well during this period, and are on their regular exercise. No, not Extra Curricular Activities, but maybe more like a weekly family swimming or cycling session to let them recharge and improve on health (can't afford to have them falling sick around exam time).  Plenty of vitamins and fruits would be important too.

8.  Be Encouraging , not Extreme
Children react better to encouragement and compliments, just like we do. While we may think that the dated method of pressurizing or scolding them work well, it may bounce back badly instead.

Try to encourage them by praising the good work they have done, or efforts put into something. Point out their strengths so they can apply these to their studies. Point out weaknesses tactfully - you don't want hurtful words reverberating around the kids' minds to distract them from their studies.

Do not compare them against their siblings or classmates ever. This may result in an adverse effect on their mental and emotional well- being, even causing resentment in time to come. They try to give you their best, therefore it won't be nice to hear that someone else will always be better that them.

9. Get Them Involved in your Planning
People usually work harder when they like the results reaped through their hard work. So consider very carefully why you need them to excel. Is it so that they are better than their peers or your friends' children, so you can have more "face"? Is it so that you can send them to your alma-mater or become the lawyer they were never interested to become?

If your replies are "yes" to any of the questions above, then please ease back.  Understand what they want and like, discuss the schools they are keen in attending. Work with them on practical goals, setting milestones on how to attain the goals. After all, if they have made the selection together wih you, they have a sense of ownership and will be more inclined to take charge of the outcome.

10.  Something New
If you have never let your kids take supplements such as chicken essence and gingko, or energy boosters such as Milo or hot chocolate, then please do not attempt to feed them chicken essence or Milo etc, on the eve or morning of their exams. This is to avoid your kids falling sick before or during the major examination, such as tummy upsets. If you wish to try these energy boosters or supplements on them, do it at least a month before the exams so you can monitor any adverse reactions.

Well, here's 10 tips for exams preparation. Hope they come in handy in helping your kids cope with their impending exams - all the best!